she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
