remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
