Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
