i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
