So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
