No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
