oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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