i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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