Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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