I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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