Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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