Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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