I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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