I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
