Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
