We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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