Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
