listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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