If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
