I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
