I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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