my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
