why didn't you poke me back
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
