There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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