She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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