we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
