do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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