just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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