that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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