You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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