How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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