quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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