So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
