That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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