In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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