i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
