Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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