saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
