On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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