i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
