I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A+ Viking dick
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