Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
