Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
