i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
