fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
