all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
