can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
