whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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