it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
