Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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